Brother of Kidnapped Soldier speaking this shabbat, Yom Kippur Schedule, and How to Forgive?

Hi,
I hope your Rosh Hashana was both beautiful and meaningful. The ten days from the beginning of Rosh Hashana through the end of Yom Kippur are known as the Ten Days of Teshuva (repentance or return). They are considered a unique opportunity to reflect on the turns our lives have taken over the past year and look for ways to ensure that the coming year will be even better and more filled with meaning. Leading up to the Day of Atonement on Yom Kippur, when G-d grants us the opportunity to reconnect and wipe the slate clean, we’ve got to get into the right mode and mind-set by first ensuring that we’re attempting at least to head in the right direction.
At the same time, in Judaism the emphasis never remains solely on the theoretical or philosophical. It has to be translated into real and tangible behavior to truly have an impact on us and our world. The feelings associated with introspection are only as good as the actual good deeds or additional commitment to living a spiritually meaningful life that they engender.
So as you go through your own journey of starting a new year, we invite you to look for practical ways you can strengthen the entire community at USC. Look for a class, discussion, or action item that speaks to your desire for Jewish involvement. If you don’t find one, suggest an additional avenue for activity. But whatever it is, find a way to get involved.
Hope to see you soon.

BTW, pictures of recent events and info on future ones are always being added to www.chabadusc.com

Also, check out the story about the Torah dedication in the Jewish Journal at http://www.jewishjournal.com/home/preview.php?id=16536
G’mar Chatima Tova! Happy New Year!

Dov and Runya

Blankets for Babies – a Helping Hands social action event
Brother of kidnapped Israeli soldier to speak at Chabad House this Shabbat
Shabbat Schedule
Yom Kippur – Reserve your seat now!
Save the Date: Parents Weekend/Sukkot
Save the Date: Simchat Torah Bash
New York Trip – International Shabbaton
Weekly Learning Opportunities
Thought for the Week

Blankets for Babies – a Helping Hands social action event
Helping Hands returns with yet another opportunity for you to make a difference. Stop by the Chabad table on Trousdale tomorrow anytime between 12:00 and 1:30 and help make a no-sew fleece blanket for an underprivileged child.
What better time could there be to do a Mitzvah than during these days between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur?
RSVP runya@usc.edu or just stop by.
More info at www.chabadusc.com/hands.pdf

2) Brother of kidnapped Israeli soldier to speak at Chabad House this Shabbat
When Eldad Regev and Ehud Goldwasser were kidnapped by Hezbollah, the summer’s conflict in the Middle East began. But despite intense international pressure and a UN resolution, nearly two months after a ceasefire – and almost three months since they were kidnapped – the two soldiers have still not been returned to their families.
We cannot and must not forget about them.

This Friday evening, Gadi Goldwasser (Ehud’s brother) will be joining us at the Chabad House for a special presentation. Hear who Ehud is as a person, what he’s like, what you can do to help.
Join us for dinner at 7:30 pm, or specifically for Gadi’s presentation at 9:00 pm.
Friday, Sept. 29 at the Chabad House.
RSVP chabad@usc.edu

3) Shabbat Schedule
The Shabbat between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur is known as Shabbat Shuva or Teshuva – the Shabbat of Return. So if you haven’t been here for a bit, here’s your chance to come back J
Friday, Sept. 29
Candle Lighting: 6:23 pm
Services: 6:30 pm
Dinner: 7:30 pm
Presentation by Gadi Goldwasser: 9:00 pm

Saturday, Sept. 30
"U-Turns allowed" – Repentance in Jewish Thought: 9:30 am
Services: 10:15 am
Lunch: 12:45 pm
Shabbat ends: 7:17 pm

Remember: The streak is still alive! The Trojans have never lost a football game on a Shabbat that we got a minyan together for services. Show your support by showing up J

4) Yom Kippur Schedule – Reserve your seat now
The doors to Heaven are open and so are ours.
Join us for a traditional service with the inimitable Chabad warmth and style.

Sunday, October 1
Candle Lighting: 6:20 pm
Kol Nidrei: 6:30 pm

Monday, October 2
Morning Services: 10:00 am
Yizkor Services: 12:30 pm
Afternoon Service: 5:00 pm
Neilah: 6:00 pm
Fast Ends: 7:14 pm
Break the Fast: 7:25 pm
For more information or to RSVP, check www.chabadusc.com/hh

5) Save the date: Parents weekend/Sukkot
Don’t miss this annual event. Invite your parents to join you at Chabad House for a wonderful Shabbat banquet under the stars. Parents Weekend coincides with the first night of Sukkot, and we’re doing it in style.
Friday, Oct. 6. Don’t miss it.

6) Save the Date: Simchat Torah Bash
Another don’t miss. We’d call it "the party of the year" – just that we have a few that compete for that distinction. But it’s definitely in the running.
Whether it’s dancing all-night with the Torahs, hanging out on the lawn enjoying the amazing buffet, or just soaking in the joy of hundreds of Jewish students celebrating together, the Simchas Torah Bash is the place to be.
And, this year it’s on a Saturday night! Right after the home game against ASU!
Saturday, October 14.

7) New York Trip – International Shabbaton. Sixth Annual
For five years, we’ve been taking a group of USC students to join students from around the country for an amazing weekend experience in New York City. And for five years those students have come back delighted, inspired, excited, exhausted, and just filled with unbelievable memories of a fun-filled weekend.
We’ll be joining hundreds of students from universities around the country and beyond, there will be leadership mini-conferences dealing with issues ranging from social action, Israel activism, Jewish identity on campus, and much more.
This year’s trip is planned for Nov. 2-5. And, as every year so far, we hope to be able to offer the entire weekend for less than the price of a ticket alone. (Projected cost: $200-).
Let us know you’re interested by emailing Dov at chabad@usc.edu

8) Weekly Learning Opportunities
Another reminder about the many ways to get involved.

Monday
Morning Minyan: 7:00 am
Dental School Lunch and Learn: 12:00 pm
Discussion over Dinner @ Parkside: 6:00 pm
Genesis Study and Discussion @ Tuscany 426: 8:45 pm

Tuesday
Law School Lunch and Learn: 12:30 pm every second week
Kabbalah and Kabob: 6:30 pm once a month
Food for Thought: 6:30 pm once a month
Talmud and Tanya: 7:30 pm every week except for Food for Thought weeks

Wednesday
Helping Hands social action: 12:00 pm once a month
Jewish Art Forms: 12:00 pm once a month
Sinai Scholars: 7:30 pm

Thursday
Morning Minyan: 7:00 am
Pizza and Parsha: 12:15 pm
Schmooze Discussion @ Eddie and Orith’s: 8:30 pm

9) Thought for the Week
Thought I’d share something from our archives about the forgiveness of Yom Kippur.
>Hi Rabbi,
> I know for Yom Kippur we are supposed to forgive others. But can you
> explain exactly how that works? Is it true that if they ask for your
> forgiveness sincerely 3 times, and you don't forgive them it becomes
> your fault? How do we know if they are really being sincere? What if
> they lied to you about something very important and you can't bring
> yourself to forgive them just yet?
> >Please let me know.
> >Best,

Hi,
Good question. As with most things in life, it's going to sound a lot simpler than it really is.
It's easy to talk about having to forgive someone. But if you forgave them because you were told you have to, did you really forgive them? True forgiveness of course stems from the heart, and means completely and totally removing any ill will you may have borne towards a particular person because of his/her actions. Is this something that can be done just because of a technicality of how many times the person asked? And what if, as in your question, you're not yet ready to forgive?

I think we could understand the notion a bit better by looking at the underlying source. Our Sages tell us in interpretation of the instruction to "cleave to G-d" that it means we should follow in His ways: "Just as He is merciful, so too should you be merciful. Just as He is forgiving, so too should you be forgiving." In other words, as we approach Yom Kippur -- as we get ready to beg G-d for atonement and forgiveness, we are being asked to stop and think. Are you asking for forgiveness from G-d because you haven't really done anything wrong? Or were there maybe things that really were a problem? We ask for forgiveness despite our transgressions -- indeed, because of our transgressions -- praying that we are recognized as the imperfect beings that we truly are, and that G-d's inherent love for us can overcome and overpower anything we've done to mess up the connection.

But together with doing that, we've got to show that we're willing to try to be the same way. Don't forgive the other person because you're being told to. Forgive them because you've truly thought about what is most meaningful to you in this world. Forgive them not because you don't really feel any more that they did anything wrong, but rather because--despite them having truly done something wrong, you have thought about life in a deeper context and made a decision to go beyond it.

I think that's why that asking for forgiveness part -- and indeed the mention about three (sincere) times -- is so important. If the other person has not acknowledged their wrongdoing, or--flipping it around for a moment--if we haven't made that self-analysis and recognized it ourselves, then they're not asking for forgiveness. They're asking you to consider what they did to you to have been right and deserved. And that's not what forgiveness is about. That's not what we ask of G-d, and that's not what we're asked to do.
So getting back to the original question: What does it mean when we talk about "having to" forgive someone? It means we are supposed to take some time for introspection before Yom Kippur: What does Yom Kippur really mean to me? What do my friendships or interactions with other people really mean to me? Am I perfect? Is what this person did to me really the end of all existence, or can I -- while still condemning the behavior -- find it within myself to forgive the person?

As far as how to know if the person is sincere, you're 100% right. Only G-d knows what's in the heart of another person. AS we read in this week's Torah portion: "That which is hidden is for Hashem, our G-d, while the revealed is for us and our children..." That's why Jewish law talks about asking forgiveness 3 times. And of course, it means a true and honest request as far as you can tell.

But again, I think it gives us something to consider in the context of Yom Kippur. How sincere are we in our requests for G-d's forgiveness? How closely do we want our sincerity judged and examined? Our relationships with other people are what creates the format and framework for G-d's relationship with us.

So, is it easy to forgive someone who's really done something you felt was horrible? No, not at all. (BTW, on a practical note: Forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean that you've become best friends again. If you learned something about the character of that person, that fact remains, even if you have completely removed any grudge from your heart. That's why the Torah instructs a penitent sinner to bring as a sacrifice, in addition to a sin offering, also a burnt offering. You've got to receive atonement, but after that you still have to go about rebuilding or recreating a relationship that was there before. Think of when a couple gets into a fight: There's the "sorry" for whatever went wrong and whatever process is needed for forgiveness, but then he (or she) actually has to go out and do something special (roses/a diamond bracelet/whatever) to actually recreate the spark that was there before.) But we do have the capacity to let our intellects rule our emotions (or the soul rule the body, if your prefer). Which means that, while still not easy, it is something we can choose to do.

Of course, if you have any question about anything I’ve written, or any further questions, please feel free to ask.
Best wishes for a Shana Tova!